Here are some traits of an annoying crunchy mama:

• She thinks if you don’t breastfeed on demand, and until your baby is 3 or 4, you suck.
• She thinks it’s totally unacceptable to use a stroller vs. a sling or baby carrier.
• She thinks you should only, always use holistic medications for your baby.
• She thinks that people who don’t co-sleep are ruining the nation.
• She can’t accept that you sometimes buy pre-made baby food - yeah it’s organic, but you didn’t make it so it sucks.
• If you weren’t able to have a homebirth, she somehow finds a way to blame you, even if you had complications that made it necessary to go to a hospital.
• Pacifiers are EVIL, so you can’t allow your baby to have one around her.
• She is completely against vaccines and if you get your baby vaccinated - look out, because this is all you’ll hear about for years to come.
• God forbid you let your baby watch a half hour of TV.
• And so on.

Annoying crunchy mamas I’ve known have a major organic, attachment parenting, green living slant, and it’s always so extreme that they can’t be nice to people who aren’t just as extreme.

My disclaimer: I’m pretty darn crunchy. I’m all about green living, attachment parenting, co-sleeping, homebirth, unschooling, and organics, but I’m not extreme or annoying. My goal is to do what’s best for my son and my life, not to control someone else’s life.

Heck yeah, I’ll tell you what the dangers of chemicals in cleaners can do. I’ll encourage all mamas to breastfeed, and give ideas about how to make healthier homemade foods, but will I disown a bottle feeder? Um no. I can’t walk in anyone else’s shoes and I’m sure not going to claim to know what’s best for all mamas. My method is to suggest ideas, not force views.

As a crunchy mama in Humboldt, there were mamas I was not crunchy enough for, and instead of just being pals, they’d always make you feel bad. I always found it ironic that self proclaimed “earth lovin’, everyone lovin’, peaceful” mamas could be so freakin’ mean to other mamas. How does that make sense? I’ve seen extreme cruchy mamas totally attack bottle feeding mamas or make fun of non-co-sleepers behind their backs. That’s not kind, and in my opinion not very woman centered or mama supporting behavior.

This is my least favorite annoying mama, because they’re not only lame, but they make me, a fellow crunchy mama look bad.

Have you met a mama like this? How annoying, right?

Other annoying mamas:

• The nothing you do is right mama
• The my baby is a genius super baby mama