Breastfeeding and bonding: Building a relationship
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Breastfeeding usually plays an integral role in forming the deep attachment between mother and baby. Bottle-feeding mothers, of course, can also be securely attached to their babies. There are many tools in the attachment kit; breastfeeding is but one. It is, however, an extraordinarily powerful one. In this excerpt from "Nursing Mother, Working Mother," find out about the role breastfeeding plays in the bonding process.
The role of breastfeeding in bonding
Breastfeeding is designed by nature to ensure maternal-infant interaction and closeness. If done without schedules or other restrictions, breastfeeding guarantees that you and your baby will be in close physical contact 8 to 18 times in every 24 hours. In fact, nursing mothers tend to be with their infants altogether more than other mothers. In the first 10 days after birth, nursing mothers hold their babies more than bottle-feeding mothers, even when they are not nursing. They rock their babies more, speak to their babies more, and are more likely to sleep with their babies.
In Western society, many women never hold a newborn until they give birth to
their own, yet this frequent skin-to-skin contact and interaction
soon make up for even a complete lack of familiarity with babies.
The mother who immerses herself in her newborn, breastfeeding
frequently and without restrictions, quickly learns to read her baby's
cues and to trust her own instincts. She extends the gentle
give-and-take, the empathy, and the commitment of breastfeeding
into the rest of her mothering. Nursing her baby provides her with a
blueprint for sensitive parenting in the years to come.
Advantages of breastmilk
Nursing couples need each other physically and emotionally. The
baby, of course, has a physical need for milk. As scientists have
amply documented, breast milk benefits every system in a baby's
body. Breastfeeding offers protection against allergies and
respiratory infections, and perhaps obesity. Breastfeeding improves
vision and oral development; breastfed babies have fewer ear
infections; breast milk is better for the cardiovascular system and
kidneys; and babies' intestinal immunity is enhanced by human
milk. Juvenile diabetes is less common among breastfed than
bottle-fed babies. Breastfeeding enhances a baby's cognitive
development, partially because it allows the baby more control in
feeding -- the ability to control one's own actions appears to be
essential in human development. The composition of breast milk,
too, appears to support optimal brain development. Indeed, recent
studies have found that children fed mother's milk as babies have
higher IQs, on average, than those fed formula.
And, of course, a baby's emotional need for love and reassurance is
just as strong as her physical need for milk. Whereas most
formula-fed babies are soon taught to hold their own bottles, the
breastfed baby is always held by her mother for feedings. A
breastfed baby enjoys not only the comfort of the warm breast, but
caressing, rocking, and eye contact before, during, and after
feedings. With all her senses, she drinks in her mother's love.
Advantages for mom
The mother, in turn, has a physical need for the baby to take the
milk from her breasts. The let-down of milk is relieving, satisfying,
like a drink of water when one is thirsty. When your newborn
begins to suck at your breast, or even just to mouth your nipple, the
hormone oxytocin is released in your body, hastening the
contraction of your uterus and inducing the let-down or
milk-ejection reflex, which begins your milk flow. Called "the love
hormone" because it is also produced during sexual intercourse and
birth, oxytocin brings on a sudden feeling of contentment and
pleasure as you breastfeed your baby. In this way you and your
baby become a happy team at feedings, each amply rewarded by
the other for her efforts.
