Pregnancy & Baby Index: Parenting Toddlers: Child's play: When your toddler plays alone
Child's play: When your toddler plays alone
Ann Douglas
Your toddler hasn't shown any interest in playing with other children. In fact, you've noticed he'd rather play quietly with his blocks in the corner than join in any group activities. Should you be concerned? Writer Ann Douglas, author of The Unofficial Guide to Having a Baby, has some tips!
To worry or not?
Early Childhood Educator Lorrie Baird says parents probably shouldn't worry if their toddler plays alone. It takes time for a child to master the art of playing with other children. "Most children don't demonstrate a lot of social behavior before the age of two."
So don't assume your toddler is doomed to spend his childhood standing on the edge of the playground, watching while the social butterflies in the neighborhood romp around together. Chances are, it won't be long before he decides to get in on the fun, too. Here are some important milestones to watch for on the play front as he matures. The information is listed by age, the type of play you can expect and how this type of play assists with this stage of development.
Infants (birth to age 15 months) -- Sensorimotor play (sometimes called "practice play." The child learns about the world through repetitive play. For example, dropping an object and seeing if Mom or Dad will pick it up). Helps child to gain control over his environment and to master new skills.
Younger toddlers (age 15 months to 2 years) -- Onlooker play (observing others at play rather than participating themselves. Older children also engage in this type of play from time to time); Solitary play (playing by themselves. This type of play can be seen in older children, too, but tends to become less frequent). Helps child to learn how to relate to others and to acquire language. Helps child to develop both gross and fine motor skills.
Older toddlers (ages 2 to 3 years) -- Parallel play (when children appear to be playing together because they're playing in the same part of the room, but there's no actual interaction between them) Provides the child with opportunities for roleplaying, such as dressing up and pretending to pour tea. Helps child to understand concept of property rights ("Mine!").
Preschoolers (ages 4 to 7 years) -- Associative play (very loosely organized play. For example, when children are sharing a box of blocks, but are each making their own constructions); Co-operative play (when children play together and have a common goal in mind, such as "Let's play house!"). Provides the child with opportunities for socialization and teaches the do's and don'ts of getting along with others (for example, don't be too bossy). Teaches the art of sharing. Encourages language development, problem-solving skills and (in the case of co-operative play) cooperation, too.
School-aged child (ages 6 and up) -- Competitive play (games have rules and there's a clear "winner;" there's no room for this type of play with younger children as they will only find it frustrating). Gives the child the opportunity to develop special friendships with one or two playmates while enjoying the stimulation of being part of a group. Fosters creativity and self-esteem.