Pregnancy & Baby Index: Pregnancy - Love and Sex: Lagging libido and painful sex

Lagging libido and painful sex

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Valerie Davis Raskin, MD

Sex can be challenging enough during pregnancy as you try to work around your growing belly, and those hormones running trough your body can do funny things to your libido. Valerie Davis Raskin, MD answers offers some tips on a lagging libido as well as painful sex.

Your question
I'm six months pregnant. Not only do I have trouble getting aroused, but once we do have intercourse, it's usually painful. Any tips for us?

The expert answers
It sounds to me that you have one problem, not two separate ones. When a woman has difficulty getting sexually aroused, she has less lubrication, and pain on intercourse is often the result. This can create a vicious cycle: When you anticipate that intercourse will be painful, your lubrication decreases due to anxiety.

There are two ways to improve lubrication: Take a lot more time to get aroused, and add lubrication. To do both, go to a pharmacy and pick up K-Y Jelly or Astroglide. They're available without prescription, usually near the condoms (and at a zillion online sex shops). Explain to your husband that you need to take some more time, and ask him to use the lubrication early in foreplay. Specifically, he should apply some when stimulating your clitoris in "outerplay," because the lighter friction of lubricating jelly can be deliciously arousing. He should then apply lots of lube to his finger and/or his penis prior to penetration. P.S.: Try some on him for manual stimulation. I predict he'll love it.